Teaching children about personal values is important because it helps them make sense of their world, understand who they are and what is important to them. By identifying their own values, we can make better decisions that align with our beliefs and goals.
It also helps kids develop a stronger sense of self and can empower them to express their needs and boundaries more effectively. For example, a child who values honesty might feel more confident telling their friend or a trusted adult that they are upset about a situation.
Teaching kids about personal values helps them understand themselves better, make more thoughtful decisions, and build positive relationships with others.
Personal values vs. goals vs. values based goals
Personal values are like a compass which help guide our decision making – helping us lead the lives we want to liv
e. For example, if a child values kindness, this isn’t a goal they check off a list; it’s a quality they keep showing in their interactions with friends, family, and even pets, day after day. Kindness, as a value, influences how they treat others and make decisions throughout their life.
Goals are like specific destinations or achievements we aim to reach within a certain time. They are like the finish line in a race or the top of a mountain we want to climb. They are clear, specific, and we know when we’ve reached them. For example, learning to ride a bike, finishing a school project, or winning a medal in a sports event. Once these goals are achieved, they’re like milestones or badges of accomplishment. While goals have a definite end point, values help guide children in their decision making.
I love this short video by Dr Russ Harris explaining this difference between being goal focused and values focused.
By solely focusing on goals, this can create stress, pressure and lead to goal abandonment. Instead, when goal setting it’s also important to help children understand their personal values and if the goals align with their values.
For example, a child might want to get a ‘b’ on their assignment (goal) and their values of ‘curiosity’ and ‘learning’ mean that – not only did they achieve a ‘b’ but they enjoy the experience of practising for the test and learning new interesting facts.
Another child might aim to win a race (a goal), but their value of fairness means they compete honestly. They might run the race and come 4th, feel a little disappointed but also proud they competed honestly. Although they did not achieve their goal, they can feel proud of themselves for having a go and being honest.
The next student aims to improve their skills in a difficult subject at school (goal), such as maths or science. Their value of ‘perseverance’ motivates them to study regularly, ask for help when needed, and not give up, even when the material gets challenging. This dedication to persevering, even in tough situations, helps them overcome obstacles and achieve their academic goal.
When things get in the way of personal values
When things get in the way of living by our values, we might call these obstacles. This can also be an important concept to teach kids about.
For example; you might explain that – ‘sometimes it can be hard to live by our values even when we really want to. Things like peer pressure or fear can make it difficult. For example, if your value is honesty but your friend asks you to keep a secret that might hurt someone, you might feel like you’re not being honest. These things can be like big rocks (obstacles) in the way of living by our values. We can think of ways to move the rocks and get back on track. Maybe you could talk to your friend about why it’s important to you to be honest, sometimes it can be hard to come up with a plan on our own, and that’s when it’s okay to ask an adult you trust for help.’
7 activity ideas to teach kids about personal values
Here are some activity ideas to try in the therapy room, classroom or at home:
- Story Time – Read children’s books that focus on specific values like honesty, courage, or kindness. After reading, discuss the different values shown in the story. Ask children how they might behave in similar situations and what they learned from the characters’ experiences.
- Values Brainstorming Session – Organise a group session where children brainstorm different values. Write each value on a board or large paper. Discuss each one, giving real-life examples (e.g. telling the truth for honesty) and why these values matter in everyday life.
- ‘Values in Action’ Role-Play – Set up role-playing scenarios that depict different values. After the role-play, discuss how these values influenced their actions and feelings. Some examples of role play situations include:
- There is a new student at school who feels nervous on their first day. What could other students do?
- A group has to solve a problem using teamwork.
- A child finds $20 on the ground at school.
- A child is trying to complete a project that they find really tricky.
- Creating a ‘Values Tree’ – Provide materials for children to draw or craft a large tree. Each branch represents a different value. Children can add leaves to the branches, writing or drawing instances where they or someone they know demonstrated that value, creating a visual representation of values in action.
- Values Discussion with Guest Speakers – This one works well in the classroom. Invite people from various backgrounds (like a local police officer, a nurse, or an athlete) to talk about how certain values are essential in their jobs. These real-life examples show children how values are applied in the adult world and why they are important.
- ‘Value of the Week’ Exploration – Each week, choose a different value to explore. Plan activities, discussions, and readings around this value. For example, if the value is ’empathy’ you might watch a short video with a character who displays empathy, and have a classroom discussion around empathy. You might look for examples of students displaying empathy and highlight these each day.
- Personal Values Journal – Provide children with a personal journal to record instances where they notice or practise a particular value. This could be a daily or weekly activity. Encourage them to reflect on how practising these values made them feel and how it affected those around them.
Looking for personal values resources to use in the classroom or therapy room?
These might be of interest:
Questions
If you have any questions or need further assistance in implementing visual schedules, please do not hesitate to get in touch here or at sophia.occupationaltherapy@gmail.com.
